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Come Closer!
I sit down on that gray plastic stool. I put my feet in parallel, pointed straight at you. My ankles are touching each other, as well as the inner sides of my knees. My back is slightly hunched. I try...
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Lo
Rust red wallpaper — a water-stained bureau with lopsided drawers. Sabi’s cheek on Lo’s chest. His large feet dangle off the edge of the twin-size bed. He twitches. His arm jumps: nightmares. Sabi...
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How to Play Minesweeper
Open “Minesweeper” in Windows by clicking on Start > Programs > Accessories > Old and Shitty Computer Games > Minesweeper. Begin clicking random tiles. Uncover tiles with numbers. Phew....
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What’s With the Sticks?
Three piles of sticks lie a yard apart from each other in a straight line. There are three of us—me, Tom, and Dixon. The corduroy suit fits the gorilla surprisingly well, and the burnt orange tone is...
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Type-O Negative
I wax exposed to a nuclear weak and irradiated. Jet I sack tor any superpowers. That is not to sly I cave suppered no ilk effects. Strange tyings hyphen to my speech. Thy wards chat come oft my youth...
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Neigh, quack, crunch and squeak
While I was making dinner, Ned, my faithful old stallion, was sawing the leg off a squealing pig. “Ned!” I shouted, “you’re supposed to kill it first.” “Oh,” said Ned, and shot the pig.I continued...
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7 Best Cafes to Strike Writerly Poses at AWP Seattle
[Note: Why am I qualified to make a list of the best cafes in Seattle in which to strike a writerly pose or two? First, I was born in Seattle (well, Tukwila). Second, I went to the Evergreen State...
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200 Words or Fewer
Bio, Draft One Francesca Weatherly-Draper is the most beautiful woman in the world. Sometimes when she is nervous she bites her toenails. For a complete bibliography, visit her at...
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an e-mail re: white lighter
to: dave from: me subject: some things about love1. I cried on my commute today repeating, “it burned out 500 million years before I saw it,” over and over, long after it had stopped being sung. 2. I...
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Ayn Rand Reviews 12 Classic Movies
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) D: Stanley Kubrick. Starring: Douglas Rain. 160 m. Synopsis: A sensible computer refuses to indulge five astronauts in their addiction to socialized life support. Grade:...
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Ocean City
fred was walking in the front and he heard someone call someone a faggot and then the bottle break. he knew when he left it would come to this. frank wanted to get into a fight so he called a guy a...
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Do Polar Bears Get Lonely? by New Scientist
If I appear to be lonely, please tell everyone that I am just hungry. If I appear to be lonely, please tell everyone that I am a polar bear. If I appear to be pale and hungry, please tell everyone that...
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Jane Huffman Kills Bonsai Trees and Parasites
Jane Huffman is a Michigan-based poet and playwright with work featured or forthcoming in Thought Catalog, Galavant Magazine, A Bad Penny Review, RHINO Poetry, and others. Her piece "Vegetable" is...
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Taste the World on Your Skin
It’s alright to get fucked up – gobsmacked – be an escape artist. It’s alright to feel tongue – hear the guttural grunt – the death growl – taste the world on your skin.
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“Random Rules” by Silver Jews
Plot Twist: You understand one more layer of “Random Rules” and oh my god, this has been a 7 year thing with this song and think for a fucking second about the asshole you were 7 years ago and the...
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Sugar Pills
Her calloused hand slapped my face. Furrowed brow, crows feet. My mother. Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow had found that circular container nestled between empty cigarette packs. If it were just smoking,...
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The Shirt That Smells
Buy the shirt the shirt that smells the monastic self-contained germ-saturated suppurated drip Shirt of self-flagellating stink goo gaminess of original shirt the shirt that smells the pressurized...
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A Mostly Numeric-Based Review of The Closing of the American Mind
Number of unconfirmed comments by Noam Chomsky read on the internet in which Chomsky describes the book as “mind-bogglingly stupid”: 1Number of times, after reading Noam Chomsky’s comment, I was...
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Regarding the Sadly Short Human Lifespan of the Eternal Primeval Fish
1. She lifts the mirror, leans back in her chair, and points her chin left, right, slightly up: refiguring the geometry of the scars. “It’s a little better around the eyes today, don’t you think?”...
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